mr lion

He cracked today, I don't know if he was just so overwhelmed with what I was feeding him but he cracked. I have never heard him cry before, nor feel so sad and mad and hurt and frustrated. So now I am here. In fact, I don't know where I am. I have called and left messages with my darkest, deepest secret enclosed in them. I have sent him text messages that offer apologies and what ever else he may have wanted to hear. He said I don't know how he feels but my eyes are puffy and they hurt. I have an eye exam for contacts tomorrow, hopefully my eyes won't give away telltale signs of a long night.

He wants me to listen to him, to respect him but it is all too late now. I should have listened to him a year ago. I can't do anything but look at him from behind a sturdy, clear wall and watch him swallow gulp after gulp of vodka. I should have listened and I should have noticed that that was all he wanted. He gave up so much, he was so nice to me. He has the kindest and biggest heart that I have ever seen. It all hides behind his face though. I don't know where this will end and how it will end. All I wish for right now, is that he will be okay. I can't find the right words to tell him, to comfort him with but I hope someone who has the right words will come around soon. I pray to God that he will be okay, that he will hold on for dear life.